Do you struggle with silence???

I certainly do!

I am an extrovert and if you ask my close friends, family members, kids, and husband - they would all agree that I am usually the first to fill in any kind of silence with my voice. I will find conversation to have (which is not hard to do) because truthfully in a group setting, silence is super awkward.

But as much as I feel that when I am around other people, where I really struggle with silence the most is when I feel it from God.

You see, I was not the girl who always had a close relationship with God. I mean yeah, I said my standard prayers growing up and put a little extra effort in when I really wanted something. A new Barbie doll, that Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt that everyone was wearing, or for a cute guy to ask me out, or even to win an important volleyball game.

That was about the extent of it. It wasn't until a few years ago where I would truly find a relationship with God and pursue him and allow him to open doors for me based off of the beautiful life he wanted me to have.

And once I did that, He not only healed me from some trauma I was carrying, but he also strengthen me, helped me with my people pleasing issues, grew me, had be become an Adoptive Mama, host a women's event, and so much more!

So when I am used to hearing his voice, even if its not what I want to hear, I thrive in it.

But when things are silent (like the past few months) It makes me squirm and spiral and make all the wrong kinds of choices.

But this week I had a conviction!

This week He is no longer giving me the silent treatment. But boy was I not happy with what he spoke.

You see last year, He told me to write a book. He gave me the title, He gave me the excitement, He gave me the words..... And then I got scared.... I played the tape of all the "what ifs" from this book and I got almost all the way done and quit.

Every week I would write in my planner "write in your book" and every week I would choose to do anything or nothing at all vs writing another chapter.

And this week through both a woman at a coffee shop and a business course I was taking, like it or not, He is having me for some crazy reason finish the book.

So if you are not hearing God? If their is silence in your life and you have no idea what door you should take, option you should choose, or plan you should decide. I want you to go back to when you last felt something strongly weighing on your heart.

Go back to that thing. Pray about it and allow your scared self to take action on it. Sometimes God doesn't speak because we didn't do the last thing he asked us to do.

Remember He is all loving and his plans for us are better than we could ever imagine (I literally have a walking testimony every day of an adopted 2 year old as proof of that)

So here is my butt kick for you. Do the thing. Take the chance. You won't understand it now, but someday you will and it will be worth it!

So I am rooting for you friend. You matter and the plans God's has for your life, it deeply matters.

Love & Friendship, Megan