He put a ring on it 18 years ago 💍

On Monday, I got a message from my mom that said, “Happy 18 years of being engaged!” And she was right.

Eighteen years ago, Jake got down on one knee with shaky hands and a trembling voice and asked me to marry him. I was so in love. Honestly, I had no idea what I was really saying yes to, but I knew I was excited to be his wife.

What a journey it has been since then.

We’ve moved (and are getting ready to move again), navigated big career changes, walked through deep losses, and raised three babies who reflect so much of both of us, and one beautiful baby who grew deep in our hearts. We’ve made some amazing decisions... and some really bad ones. There’s been so much communication, so many date nights away from our kids, and a whole lot of work poured into our relationship alongside with plenty of ease in some seasons too.

There was even a brief time when we weren't sure we still wanted to be married to each other. We almost threw it all away. (I share more about that in my book, From Zero to Four.)

The love I had for Jake 18 years ago was real, but it was surface-level. It was romantic, passionate, and exciting… but it wasn’t deep yet. It wasn’t grounded. Today, that love has grown into something deeper, stronger, and much harder to break. Every challenge, every milestone, every failure and every victory has driven our roots deeper into the family tree we are building together.

But let me be clear, it’s taken a daily choice. A daily choice to love, to communicate, to respect each other. And yes, I fail at it sometimes. But I keep showing up. So does he.

If you're married, I want to challenge you today:

Choose them.

Send them a message of encouragement, gratitude, or even just a silly “thinking of you” text. Ask them on a date. Share your wildest dreams with them. Remind them they matter to you and then do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

You will see a transformation. And if you miss a day? That’s okay. Just don’t miss two.

I’m not writing this to pretend our marriage is perfect. It's far from it. But I am writing to say this: You can see the work and you can feel the effort we've both put into our marriage over the past 18 years. And I pray our journey and what other couples see in us today only encourages them to know that a good marriage is very possible in this life. I hope we can always be a good example of that.

With love + friendship, Megan May